When you separate from someone it can sometimes feel like all of sudden nothing in life makes sense. What was once reliable or true is no longer available. It's as if you've been living some illusion, some other reality that you can't access anymore.
The person you relied on for acceptance, love, safety, laughter is no longer part of your mind's reality. The key is that over time your mind has developed patterns. You could say that your relationship became a habit. You and that significant other developed patterns and habits which created a particular reality for each of you and both of you.
Even though you are single now, your mind is still operating with old habits that you don't need or want anymore. One way the mind will fix this is to find someone else to satisfy the old habits, a.s.a.p.. Do you want to be coupled up with someone to satisfy old habits?
Let's assume your answer is no. You can begin to break up the old habits by asking a simple yet powerful question, "Is this true for me?"
Initially you may not get an immediate response. That little voice inside you is acting confused and wondering why you're asking that question. Don't give up. Eventually you will get a different response. At some point you may get a response like, "No, this is not true for me." You will begin to discern what is truly yours and what is left over from the habits you developed with your former partner or spouse.
Breaking patterns and habits can pave the way for you getting to know yourself in a whole new way! It can be a bit confronting at first so be patient and soon enough you will be creating new habits that are yours alone. You may be surprised by how much of your life is run by patterns inherited from family, lovers, and from friends.
Enjoy the journey of discovering the true you!